Sunday, October 31, 2010

Sunday thoughts!

- Tuesday night at the "Home Call" ACC it doesn't matter where the ZEBRA come from but they will just happen to be from the the GTA..."Logistics!" Question: "Will the SENs' penalty Box be big enough?"

- Greg Millen, the game colour guy/commentator's helper, just happens to be born in Toronto, works for Leafs TV and writes on the official web site of the Toronto Maple Leafs...what gives? for a goalie, he is terrible!

- On the Leafs site they have a picture of the "Largest" goalie (J-S G) to ever play pro goals...the four corners are clipped to make him look smaller...he's on an angle to further reduce the shock (all camera men, who photograph "large" people, do this)...have you ever seen him, in his pads, straight on and standing...have you ever seen him, in all his glory, with his butt stuck in the net cam...I count 5 measurements in excess of the very generous rules...ya got see him live because they will not show him on TV!

Note: J-S G, the B-- B--- B---- B---l's picture has been taken down, I assume he's been put back in the closet where they hide him!

- Memo to Kaye Whitmore, the NHL's busy goalie measurer, I know ya missed "Just an over Sized Guy" a couple times in California, he always seemed to have a cold but if ya don't get to Tranna to take your measurements before they are out of the play offs whats the point?? By the way your explanation on NHL TV is "Bafflegab"...did you ever work for Stephen Harper?

- Komisarek is beatin' up small forwards "again", so ZacH, take one for the team and demolish this "Fakir", pull the arm out of it's socket because he will not fight with you, he will try to "Wrassle" and hang on!

- Chris, #3, their so called Captain, needs a lesson early!

- Kessel has lost his confidence, he thinks he's all they got and he is right, don't give him any encouragement! "Thank you, Kessel!"

- Wilson is about to lose it...don't be afraid to chirp him..."Mr. Wilson, why would an American Master Mind want to coach this pathetic team in Canada!"

- Burkie's "Rough Necks" are the cleanest team in the league...that's the biggest joke of all...

- In a "fair fight" type game, we are still too good for these guys! I'm still mad because they fixed us that first game in Tranna!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

To the Head Zebra!

- Boys, it's official we are the Eastern Conference "Patsies!"

- that make up "Goalie Interference" call was supposed to be called on Tranna...come on get your act together, it "stinks!" You guys stink. And...and the wrong f*&$%n ZEBRA called it, he's supposed to be watching the puck...yuck! The S.O.B was on the wrong side, behind the corner of the net, out of position to make that that jerk out!

- Chris Phillips, in his "13th" season...I hope that's not a retirement project on his work bench..

- Petr Regin, good old 1x, is totally discombobulated by that unlucky number on his back...he cannot win a draw...complete a pass or get a shot through to the net...he should be sent down and his sweater burnt!

- our guys have a way too much respect for Chara, I think they are afraid of him.

- the Bruins are ruining the game...they got too much talent to have to play the trap!

- Like basketball the "Trap" should be legislated out of the game!

- "Road Hockey", 25 shots...ten clean break aways...what are we doing!

- Greg Millen is a little too "Tranna" for me...he does our games, he's all over our radio, did the TMLs not want him, he's a hometown boy after all...I thought we got rid of him a couple years back!

- And Eastie don't give us that NHL Propaganda that there was lots of time to make it's baloney and you know it! Trust me no one agrees with you on this one!

- Tranna tonight 3 minor penalties/PPs to none in the first period...a 50-42 advantage thus far this season...why can't we see some refereeing like that...we were the home team and we got the most penalty minutes again tonight!

Alfie wants to play with Fish!

- I told ya, Alfie wants to continue to play with Fish and #11 told his Head Coach that also!

- We woulda gone all the way and put Jason on that line also at centre, #12; #19; #11...load 'em up!

- Alex (aka Mario Lemieux) loves playing with his kids, #1x and #71...

- Coach ya gotta play Kelly vs Bergeron and let Chris Neil and Jaarko just feast on the Boston Wingers every draw...I mean "Let 'em know you are there!"

- Chris Kelly make the Ref make Bergeron put his stick down (Flush) every time and talk to Patrice, chat him up, he cheats...he likes the "Edge"...that's why he's so good @ it!

- Big game for our 4th line tonight, they can't get caught "stoogin'" around at the far end anymore!

- Don't go near Timmy Thomas tonight, leave him alone, don't hit him...if he gets "fired up" he is unbeatable...maybe he will fall asleep.

- "EriK" this is your game..."they 'll be comin' for ya!"...surprise the sh*t out of them...dazzle 'em!

Note to Peter/Silver you ever have an original thought or have turned into a the way "El Fuego" is correct, it's Hispanic slang for "He's glorious!" or "He's on fire!" Ya could look it up!

Friday, October 29, 2010


- if Jason isn't 110% I'd hold him out 1 more game...Coach ya change a winning line up at your peril!

- Chris Phillips looks like he's got a big project under way at his work bench, just like two seasons ago he looks like he has a bad case of "Shop Worker's Hands"...

- Probable lines if Jason plays...ZacH gets the ride in the Limo...

#9; #19; #11

#26; #12; #25

#73; #22; #18

#71; #1x; #27

#65 and #36

#39 and #14

#4 and #55

Elliott but Lehner gets the Tranna game...

Thursday, October 28, 2010

When ya get your Sea Legs under ya, you win the draw!

- Nice goin' boys, 61%...67% for Chris Kelly in the face off circle!

- Petr is snake bit!

- Alfie, you and 9MM no more skatin' on game day unless ya want to and ya don't have to practice anymore either!

- "Sarge", you tested my faith, but instead of coming late with this squad ya gotta come takes awhile to get to know these guys but they are a good bunch with some talent!

- Coach, close the "Infirmary" and send those guys and their $15 mill to Elmira...joke!!

- Alex keep talkin' (teaching) to "Mario" and Petr, they think they are playing with Mario Lemieux...

- I have said something similar to this before but Mr. Hale may have just played Kuba from the "Infirmary" to the Press Box!

- Another solid performance by our Number One Goal Tender!

- Jaarko was the best passer on the ice tonight next to Alfie!

- Philly with speed boys like "Flash", Petr, "Mario", Fish and 9MM brakin' it out and "Sarge" standing beside you, don't handle the puck, ya don't have to...

- Coach Clouston keep your "Teaching Easel" at hand and in use, the really good ones learn something new everyday! Note: I meant it for the players but it applies to the Coaches also!

Draw Tips!

Some draw tips to use on the "Souped up, psyched up" Panthers...

- We 're at home, always make the Ref make the Florida guy put his stick down first...then play for the delay!

- in your own zone if the other center man's play is to draw the puck back, go by his blade and tap his shaft hard just above the is physiological and psychological, his up and back stroke will come up short leaving the puck for you every time!!

- Denis' "Hot Rubber" are playing at home in Canada, insist of the time keeper and the Refs that they keep cycling "Frozen Pucks" into the game...most of the centers who play in America don't see a frozen puck from one end of the season to the next. Note: Don't let PM keep the "Good puck...the one in play!"

- If they are tying you up every draw, get Alfie to politely ask the Ref to drop the puck flat so a least ya get a chance to win the draw "clean!" Often people (the Refs) need a reminder!

- when the Refs see that all four centers on your team mean business it gets their attention...they pride themselves on dropping the puck well when they are concentrating!

- winning the draw is a skill but it's hard attention!

- if you are a Left Hand shot "bark" at your Right Winger...keep him in the game...he can help you big time!

- a guy in Baltimore invented artificial ice but he did it for the fancy skaters not Canadian hockey players...hassel your ice maker before every game!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


- #13, this will be my last post on Petr's has hurt us but it is now time to move on...

- Parting shots...three assists in nine games just doesn't cut it...

- there is no thirteenth floor in most hotels...even the Race Horses at Santa Anita have no stall number 13.

- Luck...what's luck...luck is not letting history repeat itself on you personally!

- Sequence...notice Coach Clouston has never tried #11; #12 and #13 together!

So in summation...#13's power is best ignored!

Note: The SENs have Petr pictured in #43!

The "Refs!"

- If the Ref doesn't make the Visiting Center put his stick down first on the ice the Home Team loses all it's advantage...which you are supposed to have.

- the young Refs, the "Newbies", just up from the bushes, don't have a regular rhythm and every once in a while fake dropping the puck, this is murder on the timing of your center ice men.

- we need a dry land "Draw" competition...all centers...Ron Shock, Captain of the Penguins, 1976!

- the Leafs in a pretty evenly called "fair fight" type game get that gift from Stephen Walkom...can you imagine if that call had gone against Tranna!! One or two of those a year can keep your season going...

- Tranna still maintains a large minor penalty (power play) advantage over their opposition while fielding one of the "Dirtiest teams in the league!"

- Florida should have called J-S G (Just a Supersized Guy) for being the largest (Blue and White) beach ball the League has ever seen and had Walkom make Tranna forfeit the game! I count at least 5 measurements he exceeds!

- Stephen Walkom, like all come backs if you are past the "Best Before"'re done!!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Nine seconds to get their "Sea Legs!"

- If the two Big Russians can keep their CONFIDENCE, we are on our way!

- Karlsson and Kovalev, 9 seconds a new Record, could be a season turner!

- Goal tending like we saw tonight can turn a team around!

- We're still not playin' great "D" but it's coming!

- Jason, we need you for the draw among other things...

- Don't, I repeat do not change the power play!

- Let Fish try the wing with "Flash" and "Winni"...on second thought we need Fish in the face off circle!

- 4 lines...4 lines... do you know how long it's been since we had 4 lines! Coach Clouston, ya get some credit for this!

Bryan, we need a "Ringer!"

- Bryan, a ringer, a goal scorer, a Guerin!

- Coach Clouston, ya take "Flash" Shannon to one side and tell him, he's playing with Alex and Petr...the Senators, his career, his whole life depends on him to score tonight!

- Chirp's banner is wrong...wrong season...Heatley's number in use...unlucky #13...#33, St. Patrick, the wrong number for this team...1000 points, 1000 games, 1000 points again, 1000 penalty minutes, 1000 penalty minutes again these are numbers for the "Hall of Fame" not a current team!

- Bryan, I think we need a Numerologist (to unilaterally change all the numbers except #11), a CAPologist (we should be getting some of that cash that's burning away in the Infirmary) and one of those Rah Rah Power of Positive Thinking guys!

- Boys, ya shoulda put the kid in there can he save ya if you don't put him in the NET!

Note: I have moved my Pyramid to the point of ATTACK!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Play the kids!

Bryan, ya gotta see what ya got...

- Put Lehner in the net, he says he stops 'em all in practice...

- Bring up Butler, ZacK and his unlucky number goes to Bingo...

- Play Jason hurt, he's been playing hurt for 7 years...

- Make #13 (Petr) change his number, it's killing us and he hasn't had any luck other than bad with it's a jinx in North America...Note: "Norse Myth" having thirteen (13) people seated at the table will result in the death of one of the diners!!

- distribute the minutes of your three pairs (#36/#65; #4/#55; #14/#39) more evenly, stop trying to match until you see how each pair is doing that particular night...

- start handing out fines for shots not taken...that unnecessary third pass, I'd bench the guy...this includes "Erik" on the Power Play...

- Coach Clouston, when your team is getting out pinched, out skated, out hustled...take your time out...and really give it to these's one of the few things you can do early in a game...

- these guys have been coddled enough...start ripping individuals...

- put Petr and Kovalev on the 4th line try to establish 4 stronger lines again...

- spend beyond the CAP...try stuff...roll 'em around...up and down...when ya gut this bunch next year your are going to be rolling around in CAP cash...

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Habs too fast for us tonight!

- if they got the puck, then we don't!

- my pyramid is not strong enough to over come unlucky #15 and unholy #13!

- we can't score...heck we cannot hit the net!

- "EriK", the Power Players work for 30 seconds to get you that "look" from 15 feet...take the shot!

- Jersey blanks the Habs, Habs shut us out, Buffalo blanks Jersey, we beat Buffalo...what gives?

- we're so fragile, unlucky #15 gets fouled, Habs come down and score with two of our guys trapped in their end! Turning point????

- Elliott has to figure out that rebound off the back comes right back out to his left foot! That's about 3 times I've seen that one now!

- KOvy maybe done!

- Jason is a big hole to he done? Are we done?

- $15.8 mill in the infirmary, it's too much, too tough for us!

- Bad teams get nervous playing in front of their own fans!

- Let's give Robin a start...before "Fancy Feet" returns!

- When your team consists of "old smoothies" make sure ya freeze the "Gosh Darn" was bad enough in Buffalo last night, Denis called it "Hot Rubber" but in your own rink...ya freeze those babies "Rock Hard".


Toughest shots to stop!

- For the record, a goal tender's toughest shot to stop is a late deflection. No chance!

- Second toughest shot is a screened "Pin Ball" shot...Buffalo's first goal!

- Third toughest was when the shot blocker #24 goes for the shot block gets caught half way, screens the goalie and does not block the shot...automatic goal.

- Forth toughest when the D-man half heartedly throws his stick in the way of a big "Boomer" from the top of the circle creating a diversion and causes the goalie to momentarily lose sight of the puck. You are doing nothing to make yourself look good, you are doing nothing to help your goalie...note #14 got chewed up pretty good when he got to the bench...let your goalie clearly see the puck if you are not going to stop it!

- If you guys did not realize you got a Grant Fuhr type performance from your goalie last night then WE CAN NOT HELP YOU! Twenty (20) pressure packed shots in the third when it mattered rebounds...ya could just see the Ottawa DEFENCEMEN gaining in confidence...come on people look at what you are were not getting that earlier in the season!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Congratulations Alfie...1000 points...#75!

- Style, the "Hat Trick", Alfie ya did it in style!

- big game by a guy who looked like the old Chris Phillips.

- Brian Elliott played like a "Pyramid Powered" goalie in the 3rd! 20 shots!

- "Mario", that's the best DEFENCIVE game you have ever played!

- KOvy, ya was just warming for those Habs tomorrow!

- Big #9, big game!

- Shannon nice goal, nice goin'.

- I'd bring up two (2) give Winni a game off he's hurtin' and he can't see!

Phillips best vs Buffalo!

- Chris Phillips has played his best hockey over his career in big games against Buffalo.

- Give Phillips to "EriK" and start 'em...25 minutes each no PP time...extreme DEFENCIVE concentration! "EriK" gets Roy all night...a battle of the Titans!

- Brian Elliott will make a game saver/winner in the 3rd period's what starting goalies do!

- Petr will score tonight as my "Pyramid" will nullify that number on his back!

- "Mario" go to the net and push that big kid around a little, he's not nearly as tough as they make him out to be!

- our starting/winning DEFENCE pairings...Phillips and "EriK"; Campi and "Sarge"; Carks and Hale.

- And above all play as clean and smart (Too many men) as ya can because we are the designated "Patsies" this year!

- Coach Clouston have that blank cheque made out to "Con Man Colin" Campbell/NHL Flower Fund, stuck in your back pocket because one of these nights you are going to have to take the big one...the big "fine" cause ya gotta get the ZEBRA off your team!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

No record for Tranna!

- No record cause #81 a slash and you knew the "Even up" was coming he was not going to have to serve it all down a man. NY gets a bullsh*t interference call half way through because they were coming too close.

- 3 PPs for the Leafs to 1 for the Rangers, two nothing! First frame.

- I counted 9 infractions the Leafs committed in the first period that Ottawa would have been called interference and tripping on the same guy on the same play!

- PM work on your "inside"'s when the guy stands "in front" of ya not behind you! (Kaberle)

- PM stop telling these great young kids they need "to find a step"...coming from a guy who was a step too slow, an inch too short, a pound too light and a tad too "soft".

- PM start giving the pucks back...we know you are keeping them for yourself!

- 5 Tranna PPs to two, not enough tonight!

- Armstrong cross checks Girardi in the neck and knees him in the call...then #9?? scores their only goal...and yes with in 10 seconds here comes the "Chicken Wing" phantom call...give me a break, this was a 4 or 5 nothing shut out for Byron tonight!

Note: For the record Burkie's "Rough Necks" in 6 games have a 35-27 advantage in PPs, but not one night have they been penalized more than their opponent...5-3; 8-7...that's Ottawa, 4 minors after the score was 5-1; 4-4 on the road; 9-7; 4-4 on the road, and 5-2 last night...guess what that projects out to?? That is a 100 minute advantage/differential over the course of the season! And that's with the even up calls!

Torts sits Lundquist!

- Guess Big John Tortorella with his team struggling and going against Tranna @ the "Home Call" ACC, has thrown in the towel!

- In five games in the first period this year the Leafs have received one double minor in Pittsburgh, "Luke" cut the guy bad they had to call it but the Zebra gave Tranna a 5 on 3 to start the second and score two to get the lead back. This would not be so pathetic if it wasn't so obvious! Buffalo, Boston and Ottawa be forewarned the "Controllers" mean business!

- these guys don't score unless it's on a PP or off the momentum of several PPs.

- the Blue an' White Beach Ball will be in the net again tonight...largest goalie, in his equipment, to ever play pro goals! I think he is in violation of about 5 measurements.

- if both Refs are from a 100 mile radius of the GTA...hold the phone...that "Box" ain't big enough.

- I don't blame Torts, I'd sit the "Bad Boy" also cause ya know they are going to try and make an example of him!

Note: If the Leafs make it through the first period with out a 2 minute minor being called on them, it will be an NHL Record, 6 games in a row to start the season...and counting...

Note 2: If I was "Burkie", I'd be embarrassed for my "Rough Necks"...what a record to have?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The "Supernatural!

Just went out and acquired a magical 1970's Egyptian Pyramid. It's a lucky 7 inches all around, every dimension...has King Tut himself out front. A lot of people don't believe but a lot of people do...preserves old boys...sharpens ya up...improves your ya more could we not give this a try!! I placed it right under my computer...I can feel the energy surge already!

The Egyptians were not a democracy, many democracies, like the NHL, are not fair, but their society worked very well one of the most efficient ever, they were moral and truthful, if you stole or cheated them they "cut your hand off"

So relax let "Pyramid Power" do it's thing...we beat Buffalo Friday night we can still turn this thing around!

PS: If I was Head Coach, I would have a séance, an exorcism and a dressing room burning of Number 13. Notice #15 did nothing for ZacH!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Red's Pyramid!

Am seriously searching for Red Kelly's Pyramid (Power), at one point in time they were in every dollar store and even some expensive Jewellers in Ottawa.

The projection for twenty games is about 7 wins; 10 loses and 3's not good enough!!! Bad luck, the Hockey Gods and the Tranna Office (the Controllers) have conspired to hold us back.

So unless we lose those unlucky sweater numbers and break the luck with some heavy Pyramid Power we are headin' for the trash heap.

This is a beautiful hockey team, old and graceful, talented, skilled, brave but when it's not your's not your turn!

I think in a fair fight we would have run away with the Eastern Conference!

Note: Ya know what I love about Tranna, they are kickin' the snot out of us, so the Zebra give 'em a 5 on 3 to start the third to go up 5 - 1 then they fill the "Box" to even it up...and we are supposed to swallow this sh*t!!

Note 2: So ya think I'm nuts...Montreal/Leafs 1st period two (2) PP's to none...Ottawa/Leafs 1st period two (2) PP's to none...Pittsburgh/Leafs 2nd period Pens up one Tranna gets a 5 on 3 and scores two...NYR/Leafs one PP to none...Is this bunch of Burkie's rough necks really the cleanest team in the league??? Our game I counted three infractions on us when we could have bounced back but the phantom call to snuff that thought out!

Hockey Superstition!

- Ya don't play "Kitty bar the door" because it don't work...almost always the other guys score!

- Ya let your goalie go out first because he's the most important guy on the team!

- You don't take a great player's number, especially if he played the same position as you, because it's bad luck...#33...that's why teams hang 'em up!

- Number the "Death" Card in a Tarot Deck...the number is poison...Petr, this is your lucky game seven, if ya don't score in Buffalo lose that sweater're killin' us!

Note: ZacH, I would not have touched an Ottawa Sweater with #15 on it, it may be still toxic as you are finding out!

Monday, October 18, 2010

I forgot!

- The fix was in, Pittsburgh had not won a game in their new rink yet! Note: I have been and stand corrected!

- Too many men is a penalty that can be called on every change on the fly...they should make it a play stoppage not a penalty!

- On the same play our guy takes a slash on the hands, top glove, ya hear it,the pop, all over the rink!

- Boy, this is going to be a long run to first place in the second half of the season.

- Lehner sure looks good in our net...big, huge, tall, full!

- Brian Lee is not a National League Defenceman. Yorkie, Picard will be still going up and down when Lee is long gone.

- Petr, either score a goal or lose that unholy, unlucky and useless are a jinx!

- Alfie and "EriK" should play together as often as we can afford to!

- Stop ragging the refs, those Tranna guys already dislike your talented bench! Note: 75% of all Refs are born within a hundred miles of the GTA.

- To Bob/Calgary...guys from Ottawa, who go to Alberta are called "Nouveau Cowboys", we shall keep Bryan if only he gets Regin to change his number!!

Short Game!

In golf when you are having trouble scoring it almost always is your short game. With the power and skill we now can throw on the ice the solution is not the pretty goal but the dirty goal that is needed.

- I want to see somebody knock someone down in front of their net tonight or at least hurt themselves trying!!

- "Mario" and you know we love haven't been within twenty feet of the net for about three games!

- Phillips, forget about how fast your feet are moving, leave your skate blades in the ice and help ol' Carks because youse guys will have your ass full tonight with #71 and #87!


Sunday, October 17, 2010

To Coach Clouston!

- "Player Directive 2010-#1"

- Give Neiler back to his/your best line with Kelly, Jaarko misses him.

- Petr gets a shot with Fish and "Mario".

- Leaving #26; #18 and #15 on the 4th line.

- Leave KOvy to watch his old "Alma Mater", just for a game!

- I'd give Lehner a start to shake it up...he's too big for "Gino" and way too big for Sid!

#9; #19; #11

#71; #12; Petr

#73; #22; #25

#26; #18; #15

#65 and #5

#14 and 39

#4 and #55


- I think there are two numbers that are a jinx for us right now...Petr changing to #13 and Pascal thinking he was St. Patrick/#33 last year!

- Fleury is struggling right now...happy feet, over committing, down too early and too long, not catching the puck cleanly......have we seen this act before...let's shell this guy!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

With our DEFENCE ya gotta score 5!

- When ya get up three to one in the second ya gotta keep pushing for that 5th goal!

- With Chris Phillips and our DEFENCE this year 5 will be our lucky and only number!

- We didn't get a man advantage after the 5 minute mark of the first!

- When the other guys get 40 shots...ya lose!

- Elliott was very good tonight!

- Lehner looks terrific, big, strong, big, cool, big and very large!

- We're comin' just very slowly...the Zebra are going to make sure that this year Tranna and the Habs will have to fold in the second half to miss the play offs...Buffalo and Boston are in the same boat as us!

- Put #73, #22, #25 back together, give #13 to Fish and "Mario", forget the 4th line for Pittsburgh...

Don't worry be happy!

In every life ya have some trouble, when you worry ya make it double!

Hershey is an AHL Powerhouse, Robin, 40 shots when you are at the wrong party...ya 're just trying to get out the door and not get hit!

At nineteen if you are going to play with the men ya might as well go and play with the "Big Guys", as we all know it's two totally different games.

Note: Our guys, SENs people, have a tendency to equate the two leagues as almost the equivalent of each other...I'm not sure I agree!

Robin Lehner, I think, is ready for prime time, I'd like to see him get a couple games in the "Show" now that "EriK" has settled down and the forwards have stared to skate a little bit!

- The Habs look vulnerable but Price is playing better than I thought he would.

- As I told you guys, Gionta is feeling the "Montreal Pressure" big time!

- The Zebra seem to be having trouble getting a handle on the new Rules and calling the new game...I'd like to see the confidential directives that each ref is receiving???

- Brian Elliott earns his "Keep" tonight...this one feels like another 3 pointer!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Lehner is in the Limo Saturday morning!

- Two days before the regular season opener I was sleeping/dreaming but I was also communicating telepathically with Coach Clouston. There was Brian Elliott, our number one starting goal tender at the players bench talking with Robin Lehner, his back up and the coaches. If I could have transmitted instead of only receiving, Cory would have got the message to keep "Robin" ready for Prime Time Lehner in the SHOW as Elliott's back up but lookin' @ 30 games!

- The kid was so ready, comin' out of camp General Manager Bryan Murray could taste it!

- Step one get the young man to Monteal for Saturday nights game.

- This is it, this is the start of a Great Hockey Saga..."Young Swedish goal tending SENsation joins EriK Karlsson to conquer the hockey world!"

"Pricey Porcelain Pascal!"

- Brennan's "Pricey Porcelain Pascal", our family heirloom of the Leclaire family, has been chipped again or is that a crack I see?

- It's time, when recovered again, to hold him in reserve...sort of a "Super Sub!"

- I know I'm only the DEFENCEMAN's Coach , but I'd borrow his CAP money and collect a little insurance usury while we're at it!

- For the record, we have all played Pee Wee with that can't miss but "brittle" super Center but the guy can't play two games with out a tough or fluke injury takin' him out when ya really need him. I played with a great pulling guard, who never played a play off game...his GF had the crutches in the car 24/7/365!

- We are very lucky in that we have Brian Elliott, a first string goal keeper, who is 14 games OVER 500 life time.

- Elliott, ya might say, "Saved the season" last night!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Hockey Gods have intervened!

- Lehner gets his whistle wet in Bingo and then Saturday morning put him in the Limo to Montreal!

- Brian Elliott looked like a winner, big, sharp, relaxed and like a #1 goal keeper!

- PM you could not cary "EriK's" jockstrap! So STFU! The less you say the better.

- Philly keep plugging...another one off your foot right to the wrong guy...shake it off you are still our "best"...playing with #65 or #55 ain't no treat!

- "Sarge" has shook up everything, leadership, offence, DEFENCE, PP, PK, even goal tending. Gonchar is the real deal...we shall "gel" @ Centre Bell!

- Fish keep Foligno and give Neiler back to Kelly we need both lines in Montreal! Ask for ZacH on the road!

- Note: Nick Foligno hit the guy very lightly hip to the rib cage...Nick held up...he scared the guy more than hit him!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


- Both York and Galley think Pascal should get one more start because he is playing so well! I don't know who's basement they are watching the games in!

- Talk about being politically correct! 77% Popular Opinion!

- Both of these "Offensive" defencemen really know a lot about coaching goalies...York's last goalie was Tim Thomas on his way to winning the Vezina Trophy, who used to tell him..."Yorkie just stay outta the way and let me see 'EM!" While Galley had his best days standing around in front of Dominik Hasek.

- Or maybe they want to get rid of Pascal permanently!

"Change the Goalie!"

- If this was the middle of a game we'd change the goalie!

- If Scotty Bowman was our coach, he'd change the goalie!

- If Cory Clouston was the Coach and G-M, he would have changed the goalie to start the season!

- I have watched goalies live and on TV for fifty years, goalies in my net and at the other end of the ice. The best ever, winners, lucky ones, no luck losers, I have watched and talked goal tending with them all from Sawchuk and Bower right up to the present...they would tell you "change the goalie!"

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Pig in a Poke!

- It's all Doug Maclean's fault! If he had not drafted Pascal in the first round and became married to the guy he would never have recommended M. Leclaire to Bryan.

- the play off myth...we sat right behind him in game 6/Pittsburgh and watched him lose a three goal lead, there was nothing spectacular about that!

- as Terry Sawchuk told me "I don't want to chance it and change my luck!" talking about changing his blocker. If ya want to be a goal tender ya gotta have some luck...forget about being a lucky goalie, Pascal is the unluckiest person I've ever seen!

- I don't care if you are a pilot or a priest if you miss as much time as he has you lose your "edge"...

- Pascal Leclaire is 15 games under 500 life time...there is not a starting goalie in Europe or in the world for that matter who is 15 games under 500 life time! That to me says Ottawa Senators 29th Place!

Pascal's Problems!

- loses feel/sight of the puck/puck carrier behind his own net...vulnerable to the quick wrap around or pass out!

- bites on the first move every time!

- too much movement...happy feet...puttin' on the Ritz!

- flags instead of catching the catch, no cover!

- those great legs kick the puck right back to the attackers for a rebound or even two!

- when he retreats back into his net he makes himself small he looks "Gerber" size!

- I think he lost a game he should have won tonight and it's going to happen again too often!

- He is now o for the start of the season!

- The guy has no luck!

- I think he can still be a super sub later in the season!

Monday, October 11, 2010


- Ignore training camp at your risk of being lost, injured or destroyed!

- Lehner out played Elliott who outplayed Pascal!

- Phillips and "EriK" as a pair looked "spooked", Philly has been shaky and two steps too deep on every rush since.

- the over 35 crowd didn't play enough to be bothered! And it's been showing for three games!

- Jason "Rocco" Spezza out there trying to kill penalties(in camp)...wake up boys, the other teams got better too!

- I have finally realized who Pascal is...Why he's fun, loves to play your first move, has freckles on his nose, he's Maggy Muggins that's who..."Tra la law la law la larity...I'm off to see Mr. McGarrity, my goalie coach...I don't know what I'll do tomorrow?"

- "Muggins" is not a starting goalie in the National Hockey League...he always gives you the first one easy...ya get a goal he gives it right back...and he bites on the first move every time...#8 and the good goal scorers know it!

- PP...ya gotta take a chance...beat one guy...Alf those slow rollers around the boards don't cut it...Jason when ya turn it over @ their blue line it costs "EriK" 45 big expensive seconds!

This ones a "gimme!"

- This game is a gimme, we shall be lucky to keep the goals against under ten tonight!

- Pascal Leclaire is not a starting goal tender in this league anymore, he is our super sub later in the year.

- Brian Elliott will/should get the Carolina game.

- It's message time "EriK" gets a trip in the limo to Bingo for game four and either Gryba or Weircioch comes up as a six. I'd pick Gryba for his DEFENCE!

- Phillips gets "Sarge" until he regains his confidence...I told you guys at camp #4 was lost out there with the "kid"!

- Carks knocks Semin over and immediately kicks the puck to Campi for the break out!

- Anyone over thirty-five has to do 3 "Red Bulls" after the warm up!

- Eugene is banished from the game because instead of making his team nervous and play better, he makes them feel too reassured...too comfortable.

Note: If we are going to play like the Russian National Team played 30 years ago (14 shots...4 or 5 goals), lets go all the way...12 shots, 8 scoring chances but 5 GOALS!

Saturday, October 9, 2010


- Pascal kicks too many pucks out in front of play! He is a way too active, they get a rebound or two on every shot!

- 5 goals on 38 shots is not great goal tending.

- "Erik" is sophomore slumping...he's been reading too many of his clippings!

- Chris Phillips, and we love the guy...stinks!

- Bryan Murray has 5 guys, who look and play older than him!

- the Zebra were making sure "early" that there was no chance of us coming back or even getting any momentum...I counted three infractions on us and then they give us the cheapy!

- to the "Big Blue Beach Ball" if ya ain't cheatin', ya ain't tryin'.

- the Big Blue Machine DEFENCE is a paper tiger...they are going to fall apart...they are just not very good!

- the CBC switcher made one mistake...he showed the "Beluga's" back side just once and where he should have a crack in his ass it looked like he had a "Tail Fin!"

The "Challenge!"

- We, Ottawa Senators Supporters, challenge HNIC and the CBC specifically, to show a "side by each" comparison of the two starting goalies tonight. Pascal Leclaire is marginally the taller man by 1" but they are approximately the same weight 202+, note the difference in the size of the hockey pants, that being the girth and the crotch...

- To the League Goalie Measurer, notification number three, the Abdominal Apron and this includes extra padding and material in the crotch, is against the rules and spirit of the game!

- Pascal is an inch taller so his pads should be equal to or greater than the "Big Blue Beach Ball" in the other end of the rink!

- the strategy used to be to shoot high on J-S G. (Just a Supersized Guy) but over the years he added so much extra padding up top to his upper body that he has now taken that part the net away also. So Coach Clouston, I advocate to you and the boys, shoot low, make him move, get him out and down...go behind him!

- Conversely, if you get in all alone shoot first and ask questions later because the "Beluga" ain't movin'...

- I think tonight I am going to be treated to watching the "Largest" goalie to ever play pro goals...not the tallest or the biggest but the "Largest!"

Friday, October 8, 2010

We are too easy to play against!

- Pascal played great but...those happy feet...he moves too much for me!

- Pascal the "Winner" was a bad goal.

- Missed Jason on the PP and 5 on 5.

- With our defence we're going to need 4 a night to win.

- We are too old to fore go the pre-game skate-"flat!"

- Chris Phillips looks like the lost DEFENCEMAN...get away from "EriK" and shake it off! #14 with "EriK" and #4 with #55 and Carks with #5.

- Start thinking about scoring short handed because your going to spend the whole first period in the box.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Pascal is an inch taller than J-S G!

- Pascal Leclaire is an inch taller and the same weight as the Beluga. Clearly Pascal needs some bigger "goalie gear", pads, pants, all around. Leclaire in his net looks Gerber size while clearly J-S Giguere looks to be the largest goal tender to ever play pro hockey and there have been some big ones but nobody larger!

- Brian Elliott is the same size as Leclaire so clearly he requires some new bigger pads and pants also.

- When does the League's Goalie Equipment guy do the EAST because to see that Beluga Whale down on one knee tonight up again the post in the final seconds blocking the whole net left the Canadiens no chance to score. It looked like someone had stuffed a "Supersized" blue and white beach ball in the Tranna net.

- Notice the two that the Habs did get they had to drag the Leafs' Target out of the net to get it past him.

Note: This is the second game in a row that there were no POV Bucket Shots from the Net Cam...that Switcher/Director in the truck is pretty good!

- Tune in later for Coach Clouston's strategy for Saturday night!

Elliott out played Pascal!

- For anyone who actually watched training camp (Phil Melanson) Brian Elliott outplayed Pascal both statistically and positionally.

- The one "Tough" one for Brian Elliott, where Mr. Lee, let's the guy drift by him and have a two step "Boomer" from just inside the chance...all you can do is take away the short side, make yourself as big as possible and not move or open up!

- Elliott has been steadier...looks more confident!

- Versage, MacArthur and Coach Clouston would like to start Pascal in Tranna on Saturday night and give Elliott the opener here as I and many others have advocated, it's the "smart" move early!

- However, the new goalie coach and Murray the younger will advise Bryan to start Pascal as it is the politically smart thing to do...all those expensive seat occupants want to see what there $4.8 mill has bought them!

- I think we could beat these guys using 6 attackers but without "Rocco" and our DEFENCE's a "Crap Shoot"

Note: the NHL Goalie Equipment Man should look at Cam Ward, his pads are bigger than the Beluga's box cars. Remember, these guys were/are measured @ 6'1" not 6'3" or 6'4" they have to wear 36" x 9" goalie pads. And while you're at it measure the Beluga's waist...he weighs 202 not 302! Also, if you think I'm pickin' on this guy I am, he's been cheatin' for 10 years!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


Jason "Rocco" Spezza is our number one offensive center. If I see him out there trying to kill another penalty I shall personally "Ring" someone's neck. We don't even want to see him for the last twenty seconds when it's time for his line to change. He has played 7 years in the league with a bad back requiring special exercises etc and ya got him "Wraslin'" in front of his own net trying to kill a penalty.

Next to Alfie or the "Goal Keepers" if Spezza goes in the tank...there goes our Division Title and my prediction.

I know I'm only the DEFENCEMAN's coach but if I had the forwards, all three 9MM, Alfie and Jason would only practise every second day and not with the other guys and only work on the Power Play!

The "Rotation!"

- Brian Elliott gets Buffalo and the home would be unfair to throw Pascal to the wolves in the first game.

- Pascal gets the Tranna game Saturday Night cause he is going to be our "Super Star Reliever! He loves beating the Leafs on National TV.

- Team DEFENCE to watch for...Alfie calming the waters in his own end...Fish helping his D back deep to help start the break out...Kelly, just playing his usual smart DEFENCE FIRST game and the young $th line dominating @ both ends!

- Coach Clouston should switch up Philly and "EriK" for Philly and "Sarge", it makes for a long night for Campy but he has shown in the past that when Karlsson is "Galavanting" like you know he will be opening night, Campoli is the best man to cope with it. (Speed)

- Note: Carks and Lee have to play well also because everyone has to play well to beat Buffalo!

- Note 2: Brophy, is the only one to pick SENs to win the Division. He really has a brilliant hockey mind!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Bryan likes a 21 man roster!

- Bryan Murray likes a 21 man roster, all makin' "Big League" money...his...ya can't blame him.

- Sounds like Bryan is trying to keep a little something in the "Cookie Jar" just in case someone has to try and drag a big DEFENCEMAN up and down through "Waivers!"

- Lee with the pressure off for a couple of weeks will play better, stronger, more aggressive...he better...

- To Doug Maclean and Kipreos...wake up, we could/can beat Montreal, Buffalo or Tranna playing 6 attackers if we have to. That goes for that other Tranna guy, Shottsey, also!

- To PM stop being such a "pantie waist", make a prediction, you are not an Ambassador, you are a Hockey Broadcaster's helper, "Wake Up!"

- Brian Elliot is the safe play early!

- Our Power Play will be best in "Class" and wins us the EAST!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Goal Tender...TBD!

To Be so "We are goin' with the Money!"

Pascal Leclaire is 3 games under 500 as an Ottawa Goalie and that was with the "Old" defence. With a save % under 900 (887)and our new and untested DEFENCE I'm lookin' @ a formula for complete contributing to the other...if Buffalo plays at all this ain't going to be pretty!

As my "Godfather" usta say: "Make the safe play early!" And Brian Elliott is the "Safe Play Early!"

With Philly tied up in the corner and Pascal and "EriK" guardin' out front..."It makes my heart tight!"

Sunday, October 3, 2010

New or Secret Nick names needed!

9MM, Rocco, Alfie

Mario, Fish, KOvy

Jarkkko, the "Hat", Neiler

Petr, Jesse, ZacH,Shannondoa

Philly and Sarge

"EriK" and Campy

Carks and Hales/Philippé/Leeside


Our goalie and DEFENCE don't match!

Our offencive 4/2 ratio DEFENCE don't protect any of our goalies very well, therefore ya hafta have a stand up, stay in the crease, stand alone type goal keeper.

I think we forget that that 9 shut out, defencive DEFENCE, that Pascal played behind in Columbus was a defencive oriented team. We forget that when Leclaire would slide out of the net one of the best shot blockers in the league, Adam Foote, would slide in behind him not "EriK!"

We have seen a lot of goalies here in Ottawa, some are starters, some back up men and some are all star relievers...I think Pascal Leclaire is our "All Star Reliever" and will prosper in that roll.

Pascal is too old, too beat up, missed too much time to be a starter right now...even his style, full butterfly, has been replaced by a modified half fly and half stand up style.

At 6'2" 200+ when he is staying deep in his net he looks Gerber size!

Brian Elliott should start for October until the DEFENCE gets sorted out...I still like our DEFENCE it will just take a little getting used to. And Brian is more used to us at this point!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

"Ya gotta play Elliott!"

- "EriK" and Phillips stunk!

- Chris, you are an interference penalty on every enemy rush!

- The complete DEFENCE CORP. needs a weeks practice with your regular defence mate, 3 on 2 s, no one is covering anything. There is so much white ice and so many open men it doesn't matter where the rebound goes, it's comin' back in the net!

- Things will tighten up in the regular season...we missed Alfie going back into his own zone calming and cooling! We missed Mike Fisher working in his own end to help the DEFENCE...I think I start Kelly's line against Buffalo to set the tone and send the message.

- Ya gotta start Elliott and I'd play him back to back to relieve his early season tension.

Final pre-season "Call".

Person to person, on the secure line, for General Manager Bryan Murray.

Eugene says: "Hey Coach, (he still thinks of him as his coach)our club is looking pretty good, even Spezza is talkin' about having the puck all the time. What's Cory got to say for himself?"

Bryan responds: "Coach Clouston is pretty up beat, he says Nyk was right with Gonchar moving the puck it's reminded Jason of when "He's got the puck then you don't!"

Eugene interrupts: "Now that I beat that Ontario Securities Tribunal ruling...I feel like spending some money...but only on the rink. So for the time being we don't want to send any National League one way contracts to the minors...put Jared on the Night Hawk to Spokane, send Mr. Wiercioch to Northern New's status quo until our "China Doll" is ready to return."

Bryan chips in: "Ya mean both Lee and Hale at D-6 and D-7?"

The Instruction: "Bryan, when Philippé returns to action, it's here where I expect you to earn your keep...I think #26 and #5 will be in very deep water at that point in time!"

Friday, October 1, 2010


Tension has taken Brian Elliott's glove, his fabulous trapper away from him!

Tension has robbed Jared of his quickness, he has lost the mind game...confidence!

Tension seems to rob Lee of a good reaction when he goes to the wall in his own end!

Tension (mental) has forced Shannon to the perimeter and out of the play!

Tension has showed up in "Mario" as soon as he was anointed top six!

Tension will dissipate for Pascal when he sees our guys fill the net!

Note 2: What an offencive powerhouse...we are still OK with the other big line coming on stream, cause "WE STILL GOT THE PUCK AND YOU DON'T!"

Lloydie, "Shoot the puck!"

- "Sarge" Gonchar on our Power Play: "You have to have a shooting mentality!"

- "Denis" Potvin: "The best pass in hockey is a rebound!"

- Harry Neil: "Shooting the puck is never a bad play!"

- Jason York makes the NHL..."Because he can hit the net on the PP!"

Note: "Good bye "Tucks", we'll miss beatin' ya up all the time!"

Note 2: Biggest "fib" in hockey..."A starter never loses his position when he is hurt!" Sun Tzu.

Note 3: "Elliott, your first goal is all tension, take a lesson from our Brodeur, cover the short side and don't move!" Sun Tzu

Note 4: Sun Tzu says "We still win the East!"